


I'd confess to you through pick-up lines

by Akilest_Heel



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Asking out on a Date, Attempt at Humor, Bad Pick-Up Lines, Confessions, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-20
Updated: 2017-07-20
Packaged: 2018-12-04 13:42:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11556378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akilest_Heel/pseuds/Akilest_Heel
Summary: Furihata lost a bet so he had to suck up and ask his crush out with some really lame pick-up lines





	I'd confess to you through pick-up lines

**Author's Note:**

> This is a really bad attempt at humor lmao but I enjoyed writing it so I hope you enjoy it too :)
> 
>  
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own KNB or any of the characters

He was absolutely going to kill Fukuda and Kawahara for this.

  
Furihata is standing outside a burger joint where the GOM plus Kuroko and Kagami would frequently eat after their weekly _friendly_ matches. He peeks through the window and sees the gang cheerfully eating and laughing. Even from outside he could hear Aomine and Kagami’s bickering and Kise’s flirty advances towards Kuroko. The rest of them are casually eating, making snide comments from time to time and just generally having a good time.

  
A tuft of red hair shades lighter than Kagami’s two-tones was found by Furihata’s eyes sitting next to the horoscope-loving megane. He audibly gulps and clutches his chest. He can feel his heart thundering against his ribcage. _Why must it be me_ , he thought wistfully.

  
He takes in a deep breath, remembering how he got there in the first place.

  
\-----------

  
(a few weeks ago…)  
“Yo, Furihata!” Fukuda called, with a huge grin on his face.

  
Furihata turned his head away from the screen to look at his friend. They were at the former’s house, playing video games after practice. Fukuda has an evil glint on his eyes that Furihata didn’t like. Whatever he’s thinking, it’s going to be a very, very bad idea.

  
“You have a crush on Rakuzan’s captain, right?” Furihata choked on air, appalled by his friend’s statement.

  
“I do not!” he answered with a red face. “What even gave you an idea like that?”  
Behind Fukuda was Kawahara, holding Furihata’s phone with a certain redhead as its wallpaper.

  
Embarrassed and betrayed, he screamed, “GIVE THAT BACK!” and tried to reach for it. Kawahara immediately hid it behind his back, while Fukuda blocks Furihata’s advances. Furihata thought it was unfair for the two to gang up on him, especially since he’s shortest out of the three (despite him having an average height for a teenager). He soon gave up reaching for it, instead he crossed his arms across his chest and seethed, “What do you want?”

  
Both of his friends were laughing, Fukuda being the loudest of the two. “Relax, _Furi-chan,_ ” Furihata blanched at the horrible nickname, “ we just want to help on your love life.”

  
Seething still, Furihata glared at the both of them who still had the nerve to laugh. “I don’t need your help, thank you very much,” he says. “And I don’t have a crush on Akashi-san.”

  
“Ooh, _Akashi-san_ now, is it?” Fukuda cackles, and Furihata restrains himself not to choke him with a sock.

  
“C’mon, Furi” Kawahara says and despite his tone being gentle, Furihata could still sense that teasing tone behind it. “No need to deny it. And who knows, we might be able to help you get a date with him.”

  
Furihata highly doubts that. There is no way he can trust these bastards about dating. Well, Kawahara he can trust a bit, since he has a girlfriend, but there’s no way – no way in hell – would he trust Fukuda’s judgment in dating. The guy is as virgin as a coconut oil, both in relationships, and… yeah. Well, it’s not like Furihata can say anything; he’s as pure as a baby’s butt.

  
Besides, even if he did make a move, he wouldn’t live it up to Akashi’s standards. A young master like him is totally out of Furihata’s league – not only as a lover, but as a man playing on the same position as him.

  
He snaps out of his inner monologue when he notices Fukuda’s hands waving in front of his face.

  
“Yo, Furi, you still there?” Fukuda laughs again. “Thought we lost you, man!”

  
“Shut up.” Furihata grumbles. He really needs new friends.

  
“Well? How about it?” Fukuda asks. Confused, Furihata titled his head to the side.  
Fukuda’s face went blank. He looked at Kawahara with the same blank face and said, “Damn, he had it bad.”

  
He exhaled loudly, then looked at Furihata with pity, “As I was saying before you went daydreaming, we have the perfect plan for you to confess your feeling to Akashi-san!” and he proceeded to tell Furihata his brilliant plan.

  
By the time he was finished, Furihata’s face was tomato red. “No,” Furihata says firmly. “I won’t do it. Will never do it. Not in this life, no.”

  
“What? Why?” Fukuda, appalled that his great plan is rejected nonchalantly, looks at Kawahara for help. “My plan is brilliant, isn’t it? Kawahara tell him!”

  
Even before Kawahara could open his mouth, Furihata yelled “NO!” with his face still as tomato red as ever. Kawahara sighs, then an idea came to his mind. He whispered it to Fukuda, who grinned evilly.

  
“Okay, Furi, we won’t make you do it.” Relieved, Furihata released a breath he didn’t know he was holding. But before he could relax, he heard Fukuda’s voice again, and dread filled him.

 

“Unless you could beat us at Mario Kart.”

  
\-----------------

  
He was absolutely slaughtered in Mario Kart, and Furihata was pretty sure those two bastards conspired against him.

  
That brings him to the present, loitering around the burger joint where the Generation of Miracles are currently eating.

  
His phone vibrated and he tensed up, like he was suddenly caught doing something illegal. Well, in Furihata’s mind, what he will do after this will be illegal, considering he is going to bury his friends alive. And speaking of friends, one of the bastards just texted him.

  
_Look behind you_

  
He looked behind him, and he saw his two traitor friends across the street, grinning widely and giving him a thumbs-up. A tick popped on Furihata’s head, gritting his teeth in annoyance. _Yep, those bastards just earned two tickets to afterlife._

  
But he doesn’t have a choice, he really got nothing to lose (except his dignity in front of his two other teammates along with the rest of GoM) so he took a deep breath, clutched the cards too tightly in his pockets, and entered the restaurant.

_Let’s get this over with._

  
\----------------

Furihata is going to die of embarrassment.

  
As soon as he entered the vicinity, he wanted to get out. But it seemed like his body became too heavy to have him turn around, and instead his legs carried him to where Akashi is.

  
“A-akashi-san?” His voice became pitch higher than normal and Furihata inwardly curses himself. He gulped audibly in order to calm himself, but it didn’t help his nerves. He started fidgeting at the hem of his shirt and unconsciously bites his lower lip.

  
The whole group stopped what they were doing to gawk at the newcomer. Furihata wished the ground would open up and swallow him whole. He avoided his teammates’ eyes as well as the rest of the GoM’s and focused only on Akashi. Akashi kept a straight face but his eyes were inquiring what the Seirin boy is doing here.

  
_It’s now or never_ , thought Furihata. _Here goes nothing_

  
He pulled out the cards he kept in his pocket. He audibly gulped, and began reading.

  
“Akashi-san, did it hurt when you fell from heaven?”

  
The whole group (except Akashi) had their jaws dropped. Kagami almost choked on his burger, Aomine’s eyes went wide in full attention, Midorima kept adjusting his glasses like he couldn’t believe what he just heard, Murasakibara more or less has his mouth hanging open while halfway eating his pocky, Kuroko, despite having his usual poker face, coughed awkwardly and Kise just stopped functioning.

  
Furihata’s went red as soon as the words left his mouth. Why didn’t he read the cards Fukuda gave to him? That pick-up line is so old and lame, he wonders why in the world would Fukuda pick it as his opening line.

  
Akashi seemed unfazed, though but he stared openly at Furihata that made the latter uncomfortable. Did he like it or not? _Probably not._ Furihata mentally slaps himself for answering his own stupidity.

  
He quickly shuffles the card and picks another. He hopes it’s not something that would cause more embarrassment; else he would really do something nasty to those two.

  
“U-um, ah, a-are you in a m-mood for pizza? C-cause I’m i-in a mood f-for a pizza you.”

  
If Furihata isn’t blushing profusely awhile ago, he does now and boy, it reached the tips of his ears. He wanted to scream at his friends for making him say this. If the first one was horrible, this is so much worse. It’s a **pun** and a pick-up line in one package of embarrassment. Furihata resists the urge to scream and run away to a place where no one would recognize him.

  
The group recovered from their initial shock and started staring at Furihata awkwardly. They looked at each other awkwardly then proceeded to talk (excluding Akashi) telepathically. Aomine looked at Kagami and asked, _Isn’t he your teammate?_ Kagami nodded then looked at Kuroko with worry in his eyes. _Is he doing what I think he’s doing?_ Kagami asked. Kuroko just shrugged, although he is intrigued by this sudden behaviour of their teammate. Murasakibara looked at Midorima with a confused look in his eyes in which the latter returns with the same look of confusion. _This wasn’t in Oha asa’s prediction_ , Midorima thought to himself.

  
On the other hand, Akashi is clearly amused of what was happening. He didn’t expect the brunet’s sudden appearance, nor did he expect the kind of approach that was used to him. But it wasn’t unwelcome and Akashi enjoyed it.

  
Was that a twitch of smile on the corner of Akashi’s lips? Furihata wasn’t sure if it was real or if he was imagining things. But he was losing hope, along with the crumbling dignity that he has. Akashi haven’t reacted to both of his lame pick-up lines, and he was worried if he was just annoying the redhead. However, Akashi wasn’t saying anything about making him leave, so he guesses it was fine to continue. Not that I want to, he reminds himself. He shuffles the cards again and picked another.

  
“You’re so hot, you make the devil sweat.”

  
Just when he thought this couldn’t be more embarrassing, Furihata blushed for the third time that day. His face is now like a ripe tomato – a ripe, rotten tomato that should be thrown away the first chance they got. Now, Furihata wanted to walk away, dig a grave and bury himself alive. He couldn’t handle this. What in the first place made this a good idea? Furihata swears to all that is good and holy that he never made a mistake so huge to deserve this kind of punishment.

  
Meanwhile, the group started snickering at the last statement. Mostly by Aomine. Kagami tried to elbow him to shut up, but he, himself cannot stop snickering. Kise, who was finally functioning again after that first blow, broke the awkward atmosphere.

  
“Eeeeeeehhhh?!! Akashicchi is being hit on?!”

  
Furihata tensed so badly that his body started shaking and the cards flew out of his hands. He may or may not have released an indignant squeak when he noticed almost all of the people inside the restaurant turned to look at him. He turned to look at Akashi then let out a more high pitched squeak when he saw the latter giving him an annoyed expression.

  
_Shit_ , Furihata thought. _I messed up oh god oh god oh god._

  
He stooped down to retrieve his cards, but his hand is shaking so badly, he couldn’t have a tight grip on it. He wants to get out of here fast, and never show his face in front of Akashi ever again.

  
A hand patted his shoulder which made him flinch. He looked up to see who the owner is and his breath hitched when he saw it was Akashi. Furihata avoided his gaze, and in panic he bowed so lowly his forehead hit the floor.

  
“I-I’m s-s-sorry Akashi-san! I didn’t… I-I… I mean… Fukuda… Kawahara… T-They… It’s j-just that… I-I’m s-sorry… W-wasted… y-your… t-time… but I… I-I’m… I… I like you!”

  
Furihata is breathing hard and fast, not noticing he was stammering and blabbering unimportant details Akashi doesn’t want to know. Tears prickle on the corner of his eyes. He wipes it before it even falls. It isn’t manly to cry in a situation like this. Continuing where he left off, he picked up the cards again, shoved them into his pockets and stood up. He turned his back from Akashi, not wanting to see the expression on the redhead’s face. But before he could dash off, a hand was gripping his shoulders again.

  
Even without turning, he knew it was Akashi who is stopping from running off. What does he want now? Would he laugh at Furihata’s pathetic attempt of hitting on him? Would he get mad and humiliate Furihata for the scene he caused? The possibilities are endless and none of them are good. His stomach churned badly and he nibbles on his bottom lip.

  
“If being cute is a crime, I’d have you arrested.”

  
The gears on Furihata’s head turned slowly and all he could manage was “Eh?”

  
“Excuse me but you dropped something back here.”

  
Furihata turned around slowly and saw the smirk on Akashi’s face. He didn’t know what it means, but he opened his mouth something, “What is it?”

  
“This conversation. Let’s pick it up later tonight.”

  
Confused, Furihata tilted his head slightly to the right. Akashi flashed an expression he couldn’t quite recognize. Akashi’s eyes were soft, and his smirk turned into something more genuine. Furihata thought he looked more… endearing?

  
“Do you have any raisins?” Furihata shook his head. “Then how about a date?”

  
That’s when it clicked. Akashi is using pick-up lines on him! His face felt hot, and he was sure he just turned crimson again.

  
“Uh… The cards didn’t say anything about this…” He said dumbly.

  
Akashi chuckled and took Furihata’s hand. He brought it over to his lips and kiss Furihata’s knuckles, eliciting a quiet squeak from the latter.

  
“I’ll pick you up at eight. See you tonight.” Akashi smiled at him and ate the rest of his meal.

  
\----------------

  
Furihata didn’t know how he walked outside of the restaurant in a dazed state. As soon as he got out, he slumped on the corner and felt his knees shaking. His mind still couldn’t grasp what happened.

  
Fukuda and Kawahara were soon in front of him with worried expressions on their faces. “Furihata! Are you okay? What happened?” Fukuda asked. He was worried Furihata got rejected and was humiliated for trying, or something even worse. He looked at Kawahara but the latter just shrugged. He has no idea either.

  
Furihata mumbled something incoherent. “What?” Fukuda asked again, inching a little closer to the brunet. Furihata mumbled something again, but Fukuda still can’t understand. “Speak up, dude. Can’t understand you.”

  
“Akashi-san asked me out.”

  
The two men towering the brunet looked at each other then grinned widely. They yelled “Success!” and fist-bumped each other. Kawahara chuckled slightly then turned to the brunet, “So when’s the date?”

  
“Tonight.”  
“Tonight?”  
“Yeah, tonight.”

  
“Then what are you waiting for?” Furihata looked up to his two grinning friends. They pulled him up and started dragging him to another direction. “Let’s get you groomed for your date!”

  
The brunet allowed his friends to drag him everywhere because he cannot be certain that he can walk alone on his own. The feeling on his legs still hasn’t come back yet and thinking of Akashi asking him out on a date still feels so surreal that his heart skips a beat. He can’t wait to see what will happen tonight.

  
Also, he takes back what he said about his friends. Maybe he’ll let them live a little longer.

Omake:  
“Oh yeah, Akashi’s getting some!”  
“It would be a pleasure of mine to keep your mouth shut, Daiki.”  
“Nah, that’s Kagami’s job.”  
“Shut up, Aho!”  
“Make me, babe.”  
“Kurokochhi I want to go on a date, too!”  
“Aren’t we on date, now?”  
“Mouuuuu~~”  
“Get your disgusting affection out of my sight.”  
“Are you jealous, Mido-chin? We can go on a date, too.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for the read! Comments and Kudos are appreciated!


End file.
